i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
