Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
