i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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