I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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