Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
