i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
