He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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