hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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