The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
