i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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