Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
