So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize