Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
