One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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