would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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