I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
