Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
