I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
there's paper in my vomit.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
