Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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