Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
