just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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