I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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