i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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