oh god the rape fog is back!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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