My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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