Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
