We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
