if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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