Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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