i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
