Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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