dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
