In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
