doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
