I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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