In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Farmville is her only friend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
