no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
