what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Shame - the story of my life.
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