a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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