I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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