Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
