My boss' voice literally gives me gas
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
