my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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