Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
