I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
