the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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