If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
