How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are the jesus of drinking
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
