just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Farmville is her only friend.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
