drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
