some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize