'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
