we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
