At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've blown a few things in my day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
