Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
