Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
