can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
