I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
